How To Change Poopy Pants (for Daddy's)

Tonight I was getting my daughter, Lily ready for a bath. Easy enough, right? So I lift her up to the changing table, and begin to strip away the layers of clothing. First the shirt, then the pants, the onesy, the socks, and then the...UGGGHHH!!! Major blow out! From her belly button down to her back...nothin' but poops. Did I mention that I was getting her ready for her bath? Good thing, or so you would think. I didn't realize I would have to give her a sponge bath, before I gave her an actual bath. So I grab the squirt bottle with the water in it, a few baby rags, and set to it. First you spray, then you wipe. Then you spray, then you wipe. and finally...you spray and then you wipe. Nope...wait...one more time...you spray, you wipe. OK...what do I do now? I have a naked baby on the changing table, and a masterfully rolled up poopy diaper next to her. Oh good...here's comes the wife. I was able to coax her into taking the diaper into the laundry room for me. I give Lily her bath. She is now clean with a clean diaper and pajamas on. I'm done...NOT!!! I still have a diaper to contend with. Now mind you, this wouldn't be a bad thing if my wife had decided to do this for me. I almost considered leaving it there and saying..."oops...I forgot because I was distracted by giving Lily a bath." It also wouldn't be so bad if we used disposable diapers, but noooooo! So there I am, at the laundry room sink. First you swish the diaper in the toilet. Then you rinse the rest of it under hot water in the sink. Because we double up on the diaper, and we also you and extra absorbent thingy, this alone requires 3 toilet swooshes. Then I used about 4 baby rags, which also need swooshing. Then there is the diaper cover...yup...swooshing. After everything is swooshed, it is strategically placed into a diaper pail. Now keep in mind, that when I say strategically, I actually mean, you step on the thingy that lifts the lid, and with one hand you drop the swooshees into the bucket, while you turn yer head and hold yer nose with the other. Now yer done, right...wrong again. Because I keep smelling poopies, I now have to wash my hands and face , like 100 times to ensure that there is no remnant of whatever on me. Now I'm done. Man, I hate poopy pants!!!


Author's note: when doing spell check, my computer was nice enough to suggest poppy for poopy...yeah...right...I wish!