Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Solitude by:me

You ask me how I feel,
Well let me just say,
That I have felt this way
For many a day

When Solitude comes knocking
On my dwelling door,
Somehow it still finds me,
And taunts me even more.

I know of no hiding,
It seems like such a crime.
But time is all abiding,
And all I have is time.

Time, time ticking,
Ticking away.
From second to minute
To hour to day.

Again it has found me,
My heart a new friend.
And loyally will be there
'Til life's dying end.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

I Wonder Where Rosie Went?

As I was foolin' 'round on facebook tonight, I was looking thru my friends list, when I noticed that a friend of mine was no longer on my list. What's more, is that when I try to search for her, she is nowhere to be found. I search some of my other friends' lists, and find she is no longer on theirs either. What does this mean? Maybe she deleted her facebook account. Maybe she is blocking herself from my view altogether. Who knows? It does make me wonder, though, how many times this has happened in the past. You become friends with someone, and mind you, the only kind of friends I have are close ones. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a very private man. I don't go baring my soul out to people, ya know, it just aint me.
(But I digress.)
You become friends with a person, and then something happens that interrupts that. Rosie was a friend of mine from high school. Rosie and I were really good friends during my senior year @ FD Roosevelt High School. After graduation, I stopped seeing Rosie altogether, due to school being our only real connection. Recently, Rosie and I made contact with each other again after about 28 years. It was great catching up on old times, and actually saying hi. Then all of a sudden she is gone again.
I think what is cool, is that technology has allowed us to now keep a list of all our friends, throughout life, in a neat little system, where we can have their family, birthdays, basically anything we want to know, complete with photos of the family, pets, and yes, even Sparky the Goldfish. This system is facebook. The point here is that you can see your friends, and reconnect with them, and have it all there at the click of a key. You never lose them, because they are always there, like a special piece of jewelry kept away in a heart shaped box. Keepsakes. But what if it isn't there anymore. Then what? Do I have to wait another 28 years to reconnect with Rosie? Is Rosie mad at me for some reason? Did I do something to cause this? I don't think so, but I can't help but wonder.
I also can't help but wonder how many other friends I will remember as time goes by. Friends I once considered close to my heart, who are no longer there in your life. What happened? How does this come to be? Knowing me, I will always wonder if I did something wrong...that's just me. If any old friends happen to read this, I am sorry if I wronged you, insulted you, offended you, or abused you in any way. I can never take that back, whatever it was. I can only say that I am a different person than that, and beg forgiveness. Until then, I guess I'll just sit here and wait for the next memory, and wonder what ever happened to Rosie?

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Nobody by: me

Don't ask me, I'm Nobody
I have no real authority
I thought that I could be Somebody
But all I am is Nobody

There was a time that some would say
I'd raise some hell back in the day
But anymore, it should be said
That "he" is gone, "he" is dead.

How did things change, it should've never
But now that boy is gone forever.
Happy - go - lucky I used to be
But now I am just Nobody

Nowhere man, with nowhere plans
It's all I'm made to understand
For so long now it's how I've felt
When your down this long...
you know nothing else.

I've worked so hard to make a name
(I wish that some would feel the same)
But I've been stripped of my identity
And made to feel like Nobody.


Author's note: After spending 15 years in the same location with my employer, I felt the need to transfer to another location in an effort to move up the "corporate ladder." In the summer of 2002, I was working in a location that was so full of negativity, it rubbed off on me. This move was s'posed to be a positive step towards the future, but in the end, was anything but. After a year and a half, I found my way back to my original location, and have been here ever since. (Not counting the fact that the next time I would move, which would be the spring of 2008, the whole house moved with me...but that's a story for another blog) ;?)

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Mulberry Street part 2.

...So I am at A&P one day, and as I leave the store to go back to my vehicle, there is this lady standing by the back of my van yakking on her phone. She has her son with her. He is probably 12 or 13 years old. He is wearing green double knit shorts, a pink, button down, short sleeve shirt, braces, tube socks, brown leather shoes, and he is holding mom's pocket book. Anyway, I had to walk around this lady to get into my van, as she is blocking my way. As I pull the key fob out of my pocket, and unlock the door, the kid looks at me as you hear the locks in the van pop up. His mother is paying no mind to this, and continues to yak on her phone. So I get in the van, and start the engine, but she is still standing next to my van, and if I move, I will hit her. So I give her a hint that I am about to move by revving the engine a little...nothing...still gabbing away. By now the kid is trying to get his mother's attention, but tapping her arm only causes her to wave him off. So I rev the gas again...nothing...again. The kid is still trying to get her to move out of the way. He goes to grab her arm, but she just throws him off, and moves away from him. Unfortunately, she moves directly behind my van. Most people would probably be honking the horn, but not me. Anybody ever look at their key fobs? You see that little red button on there? It's called a panic button, and YES I DID!! I Hit that sucker, and all the bells and whistles and horns were just a blowin. As I look in my rear view, I notice that I managed to get this lady's attention, as first she ducks, then she jumps, and finally runs to her son and grabs him. Meanwhile, this kid is flat against their car, and his face looks like he got caught in a deep freeze while laughing. He was so hysterical, all he could do was stand there with his mouth wide open, holding his stomach, in a frozen laugh. As I begin to back out, I open my window and I say to the lady, "I think he was trying to tell you to move". Man...I am such an ass sometimes.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

...And To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street.

I have spent over 20 years working in a location that is only 5 minutes from my home. About 2 years ago, my agency opened a new house in Stormville, NY, which is about 30 - 40 minutes away. It is funny how ya never really notice the world in 5 minutes. But add a longer trip, and you start to see some funny ass stuff. A couple months ago, I was driving home from work, and I decided to stop off at the Cumberland Farms in Beekman for my occasional scratch off. So I buy my ticket and I'm sitting in my car with the window down, and the radio up. Now if you know me, you know that the window isn't down, and the radio up, with me singing to the top of my lungs. So there I am, scratching my ticket, singing out loud to "Still The One" by Orleans. As I happen to look up, I see this guy standing in front of my car with a suit on. He too was scratching a ticket. The only difference between him and me...I mean other than the fact that I was in a car, he wasn't, I wasn't wearing a suit, he was...was that I was singing, and he was laughing. At first I paid no mind, but then it started to bother me that this guy seemed to being enjoying this a bit much. All the while, I'm thinking this guy looks vaguely familiar. If you are familiar with the song, towards the end of the song a bass singer chimes into the chorus with his deep "still the one". At this point, the guy walks over to my car, leans his head in the window, and starts singing that bass part. Caught totally by surprise, all I could do was look at the guy and think...WTH!! But then it dawned on me why the guy looked familiar. It was Representative John Hall. But not just Rep. Hall, but the same John Hall who wrote the song and sang it with Orleans. I hope it won't be long before I run into Darryl Hall...or maybe Ric Ocasek.
Anyway, then there was last night. As I was driving home from work, coming down Halls Corner Rd. (Maybe it's just the name Hall that is funny), and I hit a turkey. A turkey? YES! A turkey. So I pull over and get out to see if he was alright. I don't know why expected that he would be...but I digress. So I'm standing there thinking do I call the police, DEC? After a few minutes, another car pulls up to see if I'm ok. I said yes and explained what happened. The guy gets out of his car, walks over and taps the turkey with his foot. He looks up at me and says," Yup, it's dead". He then proceeds to pick the thing up, he walks over to his car, throws it into the trunk, and drives off. Really?? I was dumbfounded. What the hell just happened here? I tell ya I caint make this stuff up.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Someone by:me

I wish that we could put aside
Those places where we run to hide
And tell our someone every word
That deep within our hearts they've heard.

I wish that we could leave behind
All sentries of our tired minds
And open up the crumbling gates
To all our fears, and loves, and hates.

I wish that I could be someone
To be there when the battle's one
To give you strength, to make you see,
So you can give it back to me.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Child Of Life by:me

Child of Day, Child of Light,
For you there will never be a night.
As youth will do, for has no cares,
You run and play, for no one dares,
Impress upon a tender being,
The truth - a word so many fleeing.

As children do, 'til years have placed,
Time's trials and cares upon their face,
They laugh and very merry be,
Enjoying their brief revery.

Some this cycle they escape.
They never know murder, crime, or rape.
Forever young, forever free,
These special children will always be.