I Wonder Where Rosie Went?

As I was foolin' 'round on facebook tonight, I was looking thru my friends list, when I noticed that a friend of mine was no longer on my list. What's more, is that when I try to search for her, she is nowhere to be found. I search some of my other friends' lists, and find she is no longer on theirs either. What does this mean? Maybe she deleted her facebook account. Maybe she is blocking herself from my view altogether. Who knows? It does make me wonder, though, how many times this has happened in the past. You become friends with someone, and mind you, the only kind of friends I have are close ones. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a very private man. I don't go baring my soul out to people, ya know, it just aint me.

(But I digress.)

You become friends with a person, and then something happens that interrupts that. Rosie was a friend of mine from high school. Rosie and I were really good friends during my senior year @ FD Roosevelt High School. After graduation, I stopped seeing Rosie altogether, due to school being our only real connection. Recently, Rosie and I made contact with each other again after about 28 years. It was great catching up on old times, and actually saying hi. Then all of a sudden she is gone again.
I think what is cool, is that technology has allowed us to now keep a list of all our friends, throughout life, in a neat little system, where we can have their family, birthdays, basically anything we want to know, complete with photos of the family, pets, and yes, even Sparky the Goldfish. This system is facebook. The point here is that you can see your friends, and reconnect with them, and have it all there at the click of a key. You never lose them, because they are always there, like a special piece of jewelry kept away in a heart shaped box. Keepsakes. But what if it isn't there anymore. Then what? Do I have to wait another 28 years to reconnect with Rosie? Is Rosie mad at me for some reason? Did I do something to cause this? I don't think so, but I can't help but wonder.
I also can't help but wonder how many other friends I will remember as time goes by. Friends I once considered close to my heart, who are no longer there in your life. What happened? How does this come to be? Knowing me, I will always wonder if I did something wrong...that's just me. If any old friends happen to read this, I am sorry if I wronged you, insulted you, offended you, or abused you in any way. I can never take that back, whatever it was. I can only say that I am a different person than that, and beg forgiveness. Until then, I guess I'll just sit here and wait for the next memory, and wonder what ever happened to Rosie?

Nobody by: me

Don't ask me, I'm Nobody
I have no real authority
I thought that I could be Somebody
But all I am is Nobody

There was a time that some would say
I'd raise some hell back in the day
But anymore, it should be said
That "he" is gone, "he" is dead.

How did things change, it should've never
But now that boy is gone forever.
Happy - go - lucky I used to be
But now I am just Nobody

Nowhere man, with nowhere plans
It's all I'm made to understand
For so long now it's how I've felt
When your down this long...
you know nothing else.

I've worked so hard to make a name
(I wish that some would feel the same)
But I've been stripped of my identity
And made to feel like Nobody.


Author's note: After spending 15 years in the same location with my employer, I felt the need to transfer to another location in an effort to move up the "corporate ladder." In the summer of 2002, I was working in a location that was so full of negativity, it rubbed off on me. This move was s'posed to be a positive step towards the future, but in the end, was anything but. After a year and a half, I found my way back to my original location, and have been here ever since. (Not counting the fact that the next time I would move, which would be the spring of 2008, the whole house moved with me...but that's a story for another blog) ;?)

Mulberry Street part 2.

...So I am at A&P one day, and as I leave the store to go back to my vehicle, there is this lady standing by the back of my van yakking on her phone. She has her son with her. He is probably 12 or 13 years old. He is wearing green double knit shorts, a pink, button down, short sleeve shirt, braces, tube socks, brown leather shoes, and he is holding mom's pocket book. Anyway, I had to walk around this lady to get into my van, as she is blocking my way. As I pull the key fob out of my pocket, and unlock the door, the kid looks at me as you hear the locks in the van pop up. His mother is paying no mind to this, and continues to yak on her phone. So I get in the van, and start the engine, but she is still standing next to my van, and if I move, I will hit her. So I give her a hint that I am about to move by revving the engine a little...nothing...still gabbing away. By now the kid is trying to get his mother's attention, but tapping her arm only causes her to wave him off. So I rev the gas again...nothing...again. The kid is still trying to get her to move out of the way. He goes to grab her arm, but she just throws him off, and moves away from him. Unfortunately, she moves directly behind my van. Most people would probably be honking the horn, but not me. Anybody ever look at their key fobs? You see that little red button on there? It's called a panic button, and YES I DID!! I Hit that sucker, and all the bells and whistles and horns were just a blowin. As I look in my rear view, I notice that I managed to get this lady's attention, as first she ducks, then she jumps, and finally runs to her son and grabs him. Meanwhile, this kid is flat against their car, and his face looks like he got caught in a deep freeze while laughing. He was so hysterical, all he could do was stand there with his mouth wide open, holding his stomach, in a frozen laugh. As I begin to back out, I open my window and I say to the lady, "I think he was trying to tell you to move". Man...I am such an ass sometimes.

...And To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street.

I have spent over 20 years working in a location that is only 5 minutes from my home. About 2 years ago, my agency opened a new house in Stormville, NY, which is about 30 - 40 minutes away. It is funny how ya never really notice the world in 5 minutes. But add a longer trip, and you start to see some funny ass stuff. A couple months ago, I was driving home from work, and I decided to stop off at the Cumberland Farms in Beekman for my occasional scratch off. So I buy my ticket and I'm sitting in my car with the window down, and the radio up. Now if you know me, you know that the window isn't down, and the radio up, with me singing to the top of my lungs. So there I am, scratching my ticket, singing out loud to "Still The One" by Orleans. As I happen to look up, I see this guy standing in front of my car with a suit on. He too was scratching a ticket. The only difference between him and me...I mean other than the fact that I was in a car, he wasn't, I wasn't wearing a suit, he was...was that I was singing, and he was laughing. At first I paid no mind, but then it started to bother me that this guy seemed to being enjoying this a bit much. All the while, I'm thinking this guy looks vaguely familiar. If you are familiar with the song, towards the end of the song a bass singer chimes into the chorus with his deep "still the one". At this point, the guy walks over to my car, leans his head in the window, and starts singing that bass part. Caught totally by surprise, all I could do was look at the guy and think...WTH!! But then it dawned on me why the guy looked familiar. It was Representative John Hall. But not just Rep. Hall, but the same John Hall who wrote the song and sang it with Orleans. I hope it won't be long before I run into Darryl Hall...or maybe Ric Ocasek.
Anyway, then there was last night. As I was driving home from work, coming down Halls Corner Rd. (Maybe it's just the name Hall that is funny), and I hit a turkey. A turkey? YES! A turkey. So I pull over and get out to see if he was alright. I don't know why expected that he would be...but I digress. So I'm standing there thinking do I call the police, DEC? After a few minutes, another car pulls up to see if I'm ok. I said yes and explained what happened. The guy gets out of his car, walks over and taps the turkey with his foot. He looks up at me and says," Yup, it's dead". He then proceeds to pick the thing up, he walks over to his car, throws it into the trunk, and drives off. Really?? I was dumbfounded. What the hell just happened here? I tell ya I caint make this stuff up.

Someone by:me

I wish that we could put aside
Those places where we run to hide
And tell our someone every word
That deep within our hearts they've heard.

I wish that we could leave behind
All sentries of our tired minds
And open up the crumbling gates
To all our fears, and loves, and hates.

I wish that I could be someone
To be there when the battle's one
To give you strength, to make you see,
So you can give it back to me.

Child Of Life by:me

Child of Day, Child of Light,
For you there will never be a night.
As youth will do, for has no cares,
You run and play, for no one dares,
Impress upon a tender being,
The truth - a word so many fleeing.

As children do, 'til years have placed,
Time's trials and cares upon their face,
They laugh and very merry be,
Enjoying their brief revery.

Some this cycle they escape.
They never know murder, crime, or rape.
Forever young, forever free,
These special children will always be.

My Birthday Week

Hello Constant Reader! (This is, of course, a rather ironic term of endearment from me to you, as I would have to be a constant writer, for you to be a constant reader. But this is what Stephen King calls his fans, so...hey...accept it) I know it has been a while since I have posted, but I just haven't had much to say, nor time to really search for a poem to post. So where do I start? On February 25 I turned 46 years old. Someone asked me the other day how 46 feels. I told them I didn't feel any different than I did on February 24th. Anyway, let me recap my week. On the 22nd, my family took a trip to Norwalk, CT. This trip had a dual purpose. We were taking our kids to be interviewed by a talent agency. While we were there, we also got to visit the Maritime Museum, which was way more cool than being ripped off by a scam artist talent agency. On the 23rd, I was s'posed to go to an oral surgeon to get a panoramic x-ray of my right jaw bone (I'll get to this in a minute), but the appt. was cancelled due to the bad weather. Instead I stayed home and managed to get some work done in my basement, and shoveled my driveway. The 24th brought more bad weather, so my Defensive Drivng class was cancelled, so I stayed home, worked in the basement, and shoveled the driveway. My Birthday finally arrived on the 25th, and I actually got the day off from shoveling, as it rained all frickin' day. But My family blessed me with the new Ringo CD (Y Not) and the new Marvel animated feature (Planet Hulk) on DVD. My birthday dinner included Sloppy Joe's and Mac and Cheese. I usually pick chili dogs, but at 46, I guess I was feeling my oats. I also went to that doctor today. I had a little scare. The other week I was at my dentist, and he took xrays of my tooth that needed to be worked on. What he found was a black shadow area in the bone of my jaw. Jaw Bone Cancer? Not according to the oral surgeon! He said that there was nothing there that need be of any concern. Praise God, but I thought that 30 plus years of smokin' had caught up to me. The 26th brought more snow, more shoveling, and more aches in pains in my back, arms, and legs. I really, really hate winter...really. Thank Goodness I had the weekend to lay around and recuperate. oh wait...that didn't really happen much either...The house I manage lost their power on Thursday, and didn't get it back until Tuesday (The 2nd) morning. On Saturday I went and shoveled there a little, and then I also went back on Monday to shovel some more. So there ya have it "CR". Now I gots ta shovel off...c'ya!

Hurt and Pissed

Dontcha just hate it when someone asks you how you are, and they really don't care or mean it? This past week has been the week from Hell. One of the guys that lives in the house I manage has been in the hospital since Thursday with a broken hip. I have been filling in many hours where I couldn't find coverage otherwise. This has not been fun, seeings how we have to provide 24 hour "sitter" coverage. In the last 2 weeks, I have worked over 100 hours, and I am only getting paid for 80. That's 20 hours of work I don't get paid for. That's 20 hours I didn't get to spend with my wife and kids. If I got paid like my staff do, that would be 20 hours overtime at time and a half. Translation: That's $448.20 I didn't make. I even travelled all the way to Poughkeepsie (26 miles) in a friggin' snow storm, just to ensure that my guy was not alone, and that the staff who did the overnight could go home and start his vacation (what's that?). Then I had to travel 26 miles home in a snow storm on top of that. Today my guy was discharged from the hospital (in Poughkeepsie) and transferred to a nursing home for rehab (in Kent, CT). After spending 9 hours at the hospital today, I then had to drive all the way to Kent to help him settle in there. After I left there (7pm), I still had to drive all the way to Stormville to my job, to do grocery shopping for the house. I didn't get out of work until 11pm (a 16 hour day). In passing conversation with a person who works for me, she asks "How are you?" My reply was that I was doing alright despite that fact that I am on a steady diet of hours worked this week. Her response? "Well, I don't feel sorry for you one bit." Well excuse me bitch! I wasn't looking for your sympathy, but maybe a little empathy would be nice. (I didn't actually say this, though, as I couldn't keep my jaw from dropping aghast). You know, I bust my ass for my job, and I do whatever I can for my guys. I have worked with them for 22 years, and they are more like brothers to me than anything else. Why the hell ask me how I am, if you ain't gonna at least try to understand how I feel?



In Essence Of Reality by:me

Don't stop for me, please,
No, don't waste your time.
'Cause you've got your own world,
And I'm here in mine.

Don't ask me my thoughts,
Just to put down in rhyme.
It just wouldn't matter
To you or your kind.

I know not of love,
Or the depth of a heart.
I can't even see
The light from the dark.

Don't ask how I'm doing;
To tell how I feel,
If I speak of ruin,
It would still be unreal.

For love hath no fear;
Nor a fury to tell,
It scorns me with coins
For an old wishing well.

How To Change Poopy Pants (for Daddy's)

Tonight I was getting my daughter, Lily ready for a bath. Easy enough, right? So I lift her up to the changing table, and begin to strip away the layers of clothing. First the shirt, then the pants, the onesy, the socks, and then the...UGGGHHH!!! Major blow out! From her belly button down to her back...nothin' but poops. Did I mention that I was getting her ready for her bath? Good thing, or so you would think. I didn't realize I would have to give her a sponge bath, before I gave her an actual bath. So I grab the squirt bottle with the water in it, a few baby rags, and set to it. First you spray, then you wipe. Then you spray, then you wipe. and finally...you spray and then you wipe. Nope...wait...one more time...you spray, you wipe. OK...what do I do now? I have a naked baby on the changing table, and a masterfully rolled up poopy diaper next to her. Oh good...here's comes the wife. I was able to coax her into taking the diaper into the laundry room for me. I give Lily her bath. She is now clean with a clean diaper and pajamas on. I'm done...NOT!!! I still have a diaper to contend with. Now mind you, this wouldn't be a bad thing if my wife had decided to do this for me. I almost considered leaving it there and saying..."oops...I forgot because I was distracted by giving Lily a bath." It also wouldn't be so bad if we used disposable diapers, but noooooo! So there I am, at the laundry room sink. First you swish the diaper in the toilet. Then you rinse the rest of it under hot water in the sink. Because we double up on the diaper, and we also you and extra absorbent thingy, this alone requires 3 toilet swooshes. Then I used about 4 baby rags, which also need swooshing. Then there is the diaper cover...yup...swooshing. After everything is swooshed, it is strategically placed into a diaper pail. Now keep in mind, that when I say strategically, I actually mean, you step on the thingy that lifts the lid, and with one hand you drop the swooshees into the bucket, while you turn yer head and hold yer nose with the other. Now yer done, right...wrong again. Because I keep smelling poopies, I now have to wash my hands and face , like 100 times to ensure that there is no remnant of whatever on me. Now I'm done. Man, I hate poopy pants!!!


Author's note: when doing spell check, my computer was nice enough to suggest poppy for poopy...yeah...right...I wish!

Hope Chest by:me

There's a box upon my dresser
I'd say it's rather small.
Of all its one time contents,
There's almost nothing left at all.

That box is very old,
Much older than you or I.
Yet its treasure is as new,
As the light of morning sky.

It's up there on my dresser,
Just up there gath'ring dust.
I don't dare take a peak,
All I can do is trust.

For long ago, and far away,
A woman did just that.
And just as you have heard it said,
Curiosity killed the cat.

Yes, it is that famous box,
Notorious you might say.
The box in which all evils
Once were safely locked away.

That woman was Pandora,
Who, in her curiosity,
Opened the box and let escape
All evils of history.

But the box holds one last treasure,
A present from above,
To help us cope, there's one last hope,
And that treasure we call Love.

The box has told a tale of pain,
Of the evils in man's past.
But it brings a gift for the future,
A gift of ever - last.

And so you see, Pandora,
Naive as she could be,
Has given us a future
Amidst reality.

Lost by:me

I'm lost again from Yesterday
I don't know where to go.
I once thought that I knew the way
A long, long time ago.

I thought that I would get there
No matter what the cost
But Chaos always finds a way
For me to remain lost.

There isn't any end in sight
Should I go east or west?
And even when I think I'm right,
My thoughts are all that's left.

'Round every bend, and every turn,
Each long and winding road.
In my head a fever burns
And yet my soul is cold.

I look ahead and try to move,
I'm frozen in my tracks.
I look behind, the trail is lost,
There is no turning back.

I know - somehow - I'll find my way,
'Til then I'll sit and wait.
Tomorrow is another day
Closer to Heaven's Gate.

Groundhog's Day

So today is Groundhog's Day. What a scam. How silly is it that, we pin all our hopes and dreams of Springtime on a furry little animal who is really just coming out of his hole to see if there is a mate nearby? And what are we hoping to find? Does "Phil" see his shadow, or not? And what of it? If he sees his shadow, then this means 6 more weeks of winter. And if he doesn't...6 MORE WEEKS OF WINTER!!!! C'mon people...wake up and smell the coffee!! If you ask me, I'll predict 4 more weeks of this cold weather crap, and then we will start to see a more steady stream of at least 50 degree weather. At this point, you are probably thinking "Ok Mike, to what do you base your prediction on?" I base my prediction on the birds. This past Saturday (1/30/10), I spotted at least 15 Robins and at least 10 Bluebirds flittering around the back yard of the house I work in. As we know, birds are migratory. They fly south in the winter, and come back to the north when nature says it is time. Generally, birds start heading back about a month before spring hits. So based on these facts, I say by the end of February, we will start seeing some warmer weather. Although it could be another 6 weeks at the most...What a scam!!

Long Into Night by: me

Long into night
You lie there still,
Safe in my arms
For it is your will.

You take my love,
You take my all,
And make it hard
To break the fall.

A flame, a flicker,
The candle burns.
Deep into night,
I still haven't learned.

You come, you stay,
You say hello.
Caress the night,
And then you go.

Long into night
And straight into day,
I wish there could be
Another way.


Author's Note - As you can tell, the name of my blog was actually taken from the title of this poem...clever, huh?. This poem was written sometime in the summer of 1992.

Greetings!!

Hello, and welcome to my blog! I am new at this, so bare with me as I learn how to work this blog into something that might actually interest people. I created this blog, mostly, as a means to put my poetry somewhere that people might actually see and enjoy it. (at least I hope you will enjoy it) I have been writing since I was in my teens, so you may find that some of my stuff is a bit on the dark side. You will find my writings will deal with topics such as love, loneliness, anger, hope, and even some humorous musings. You may find that my style of typing lacks good grammar and I misspell words. This is usually done intentionally, as I like to type the way I actually speak. I believe that in doing so, you may actually get to experience the real me. In other words, there are no false pretenses here...what ya see is what ya git. In any event, it's all here for you to see...the thoughts of my whole life. Anyone who knows me, will understand that this is a difficult undertaking for me, as I am a very private person. For me to open up and actually share something about myself, is not an easy thing, but for you, I'll do my best. When I'm not posting poetry, I may even, from time to time, just talk about things that are on my mind. If you find that I am rambling on, you can just do what my wife does...nod your head and smile like you totally understand!! So here we go...get in, sit down, shut up, and hang on...we're goin' for a ride!